Perfection kills....

Perfection kills!  It kills dreams...it kills relationships...it kills our self esteem.  I should know.  I have struggled with a standard of perfection for many years.  Some people close to me would question that statement because I have failed to reach perfection on every level.  More accurately, the quest for perfection has created a perpetual cycle of failure. 

In an attempt to guarantee perfect actions and therefore perfect results, many of my plans have never gotten out of the planning stage.  The search for perfect plans...perfect actions...and perfect results has caused me to procrastinate in everything from doing my taxes to making a quilt to applying for a new job or trying a new recipe.  I have waited for uninterrupted hours...stress free days...and everyone to be "on board".  But those conditions have never happened....nor will they.  And in the past my failure to attain perfection has perpetuated that sense of failure and hindered the attempt to try again.

In recent years I have worked diligently at letting go of the attempt for perfection.  My focus has shifted toward a new healthier standard.  A standard that reflects what is important to me...not society or the accepted norm.  I no longer feel that my acceptance as a person hinges on what kind of present I give someone...or how elaborate I decorate the birthday cake...or how many blue ribbons I receive at the county fair.  I am good enough.  Yes...I am good enough even when I buy a gift that stays within my budget...or when I opt to let someone else bake the cake...or when I choose not to scurry and hurry to enter exhibits in the fair.

For my sense of approval does not lie outside myself but within myself.  By releasing the pursuit of perfection, I have found an inner acceptance of myself.  And ironically....finding that is almost perfection!

The Power of Relaxation - 2

My vacation is in day three and I have become quite accomplished at being schedule free and having accountability to only myself.  However, I noticed something this morning as I sat facing a huge waterfall eating a late breakfast.  Taking a bite of incredibly fluffy pancakes I felt a slight twinge of something.  Was it sadness?  Was it lonliness?  I allowed the feeling to evolve...to present itself...and soon realized that what I was feeling was the completeness that daily tasks bring to my life.  I love the relaxed schedule I am currently keeping and I have realized how desperately I need to make time for doing nothing.  But I have also realized that when I have time to relax and rejuvenate, I begin to miss those mundane daily tasks that often drive me crazy. 

As I ate my pancakes, I felt a yearning to be in my kitchen mixing the ingredients myself.  I longed to measure the flour...scraping the measuring cup smooth with a knife.  I longed to crack open the egg...challenging myself to do it with one hand...without any shell in the bowl.  I had a desire to pour myself a small glass of milk after measuring out the needed amount for the recipe.  I wanted to see the texture of the batter form in my bowl as I whisked the ingredients together to a smooth, bubbly consistency.  I wanted to search the kitchen for other interesting ingredients to add to the batter...ground flaxseed....walnuts...bananas.  I missed being involved in the process of creating the final product....not just see it on my plate.  

I think this is evidence of another benefit of relaxation.  When we have the opportunity to become quiet, relax fully, and rejuvenate, we find that lost appreciation for our daily lives and the sacredness of the hours that create our days.  It also makes me realize that I do not want to idly sit by and accept my life as it comes to me.  I truly want to be the creator of my life....to mix my life's recipe as I choose...to suit my individual tastes and preferences. 

So...tomorrow  I fly back to my everday life...and I do so with a promise to myself to balance my relaxation and down time with a respect for the tasks of my days.  I have also renewed my vow to honor those daily tasks and truly be present in my life...minute by minute.

The Power of Relaxation

I am on vacation.  It wasn't a planned trip and it pales in comparison to the original summer trip that I was plannning.  But I think it is exactly the trip that I need right now.  My original destination was Italy.  It was a last minute thought but would include touring many locations on my "bucket list".  But...due to a variety of factors...my Italian getaway will have to wait until another time.  Instead...I am enjoying a few days at a beautiful resort in Phoenix, Arizona.  While some people might be disappointed to be in Phoenix following the potential  of Italy....I am not.  This trip has a completely different purpose.  I came here with too much luggage but a very limited agenda.  No historical sites to fit into my day...no paintings or magnificent statues to see...and no "must see" views.  My only agenda is to do what I want...when I want.  I can even change my mind about what I want to do....that is the beauty of this vacation.  I am truly vacating my back home life.  I have left behind the responsibilities that burden me and am focusing on those things that I long to have time for at home.  I am updating my website...studying energy healing...taking exercise classes...and spending alot of time doing nothing. 

There is great value in doing nothing.  Yesterday I laid by the pool listening to the water fall harmoniously from the levels of a nearby water fountain.  As I lay there, my body began to relax and I felt like every part of me was melting into the lounge chair.  When was the last time my body had felt this relaxed?  When had the tension been completely gone from my muscles?  When had my mind been free to wander and wonder wherever and to whatever it wanted?  The answer....too long!

There is tremendous power in relaxation.  It allows our bodies the opportunity to rest and rejuvenate.  It allows our minds the opportunity to clear away unnecessary thoughts and worries.  It gives my spirit a chance to present itself...to be seen in the cool shade of a palm tree and be heard in the gurgling of a peaceful fountain.  It offers every aspect of who I am the time needed to release and recreate so that when I head back to my daily life at home I do so with a fresh perspective, a calm mind, and clear vision for my future.  I will head back with renewed energy and a resolve to make time in my life for relaxation.  Not just on vacation...but as a regular part of my day.

Flexibility

Flexibility.  That word holds a variety of meanings and can describe many different things.  Flexible schedules...flexible bodies...flexible attitudes...even flexible garden hoses.  But in the middle of yoga class last night I realized that I can become more flexible when someone else applies a little pressure...if I will simply breath and release my resistance.

The instructor guides the class into Staff Pose then instructs us to inhale....then exhale and lean forward from the hips keeping the back long.  I move my torso forward into Seated Forward Bend...reaching my hands toward my toes.  The tightness in my hamstrings and lower back limit my forward movement but I continue to breath and try to relax into the stretch.  That was when I felt the instructors hands lightly on my back.  She cued my breathing and on my exhalation she applied a firm pressure to my mid back region.  My torso released forward...my fingers crept closer to my toes...and the muscles in the back of my legs relaxed slightly.  She released for a breath cycle then repeated the sycronized breath and manual pressure again.  My body released even further forward into the stretch each time she pressed her body weight against me...as long as I did not resist the pressure.

That was when I realized the application of this lesson off the yoga mat.  Outside pressure can increase my flexibility...not physically like in yoga class...but emotionally and psychologically.  I can become more flexible in my attitudes and in my views when I am challenged by the pressure from others.  I do not have to agree with their views or attitudes.  However, when I give up my resistance and judgement and open myself up to their viewpoint, I have the opportunity to stretch my own perspective and hone my own opinions.  I must remain calm...breath...and let go into the moment of experience.  I must be willing to endure the external pressure while releasing and relaxing within.  If I do...my flexibility will increase and I will be able to adapt to the challenges that life brings. 

Getting Back Up

I fell out of a pose in yoga class yesterday.  Nothing but my pride was injured and surprisingly my pride didn't suffer much or for long.  It was a very basic shoulder stretch before the instructor gave an unfamiliar option to increase the difficulty.  Without hesitating, I lifted my right leg into the air and moved into the more difficult positon...for a very brief moment.  Then, I lost my balance and rolled onto my side.  Immediately I thought of a little child learning to crawl...how they wobble and fall over again and again. 

I laughed out loud as I toppled over. But I was immediately encouraged by the instructor who said that everyone falls out of the pose the first time they try it.  So...back into the pose I went.  And this time my body adjusted...muscles were contracted more fully...my body weight was more evenly distributed....and my breath was more even.  And...I lifted my right leg and held the pose.  It wasn't long until we move into a different pose but I successfully held it. 

My most recent yoga lesson is a reminder to myself to continue to get back up.  To learn from the initial experience and make adjustments for success.  For there is truly no shame in the falling...everyone does it.  The only shame lies in refusing to get back up and try again.  For if we don't try we will never succeed.