Comfort Zones

There are times in my life when I need someone to challenge me...not in an adversarial way...just a firm, solid push that moves me across the outer perimeter of my comfort zone.  I am quite familiar with the well-defined boundary of my comfort.  I cling to it...balancing right on the edge. 

Often I see something just outside my reach.  Something alluring that speaks to me.  I rise up on my toes...balancing....teetering...stretching my outreached fingers toward the goal.  Predictably, I lose my balance and pull back.  I collect myself and regain my composure having barely escaped the vulnerability of a fall outside my comfort zone.  I catch my breath.

Other times I reach with determination, grasping the target of my reach and swiftly pull it toward me.  But I do not venture across that treacherous line.  This feat may initially feel like an achievement but the successful feeling quickly fades - constricted by the size of my comfort zone. 

What is truly amazing is when I teeter on the precipice of what I know then choose to step with purpose and intent beyond my previous experience.  When I acknowledge what is possible beyond that boundary and choose to step toward it without the guarantee of a specific outcome...that may be uncomfortable, but can also open me up for incredible personal growth.

I have experienced this opportunity for personal growth many times.  Recently it came during a yoga class.  I was moving up from the beginner class and making my first attempt at Power Yoga.  The name scared me.  Power.  Yoga.  But I unrolled my mat...determined to give my best during the class.  As the class progressed I realized that I am accustomed to stopping an exercise when it becomes difficult.  I am a fitness instructor and I format my class.  I determine what exercises we do...what the duration and intensity will be... and we definitely don't do anything I don't like to do.  So...as we held Goddess Pose and my thighs began to quiver and sweat started dripping off my brow, I realized that I need to be the student.  As we moved into Half Moon, I understood the need to give up orchestrating and do more enduring.  I need to do things that are difficult...not just the things that I am good at or that come easily.  I need to be pushed beyond what is comfortable.

So...thank you to all my teachers, mentors, family and friends who nudge me ever closer to the edge of change...through discomfort...through uncertainty...through fear...and into a new, much larger comfort zone. 

Retreat Aftermath

It is Monday morning and I am having trouble focusing on the necessary work tasks on my to-do list.  I spent the past weekend with 15 amazing women in a transitions yoga retreat.  It was wonderful and energizing but exhausting at the same time.  We were an eclectic group.  Young...old...starting education programs...retired from education programs...married...single...in and out of relationships...classy...earthy...Christian...Buddhist...spiritual seekers...but all with a sincere intention to know ourselves more fully. 

It is always interesting and often difficult to look within and come face to face with my true self...honest answers...clarified reflections...hard-edged reality.  Do not misunderstand...the process of self reflection holds tremendous value for me.  But without the follow-up of focused actions to support the new clarity, the value is diminished and my life remains as it is. 

So...I am in the middle of creative change.  A familiar place in recent years.  I am gathering the bits and pieces of self-awareness, the threads of ah-ha moments and the beads and baubles of authenticity.  I am weaving and stitching...crafting and creating...working frantically but with precision.  I am designing the ever evolving tapestry of my life.  Making an adjustment here...cutting something away there...adding...purging...looking closely...standing back for the full view. 

It is beautiful!  This tapestry of my life.  It is perfectly flawed.  It is brightly colored with occasional splotches of depression and disappointment.  It has gaping holes where I have ripped out the stitches and they have yet to be repaired or replaced.  But it also has marvelous texture from the fabrics and yarns.  There are sparkling beads of love...caring...family...and friends.  And the silky thread of wisdom is woven throughout...peaking out of the yarn and fabric intermittently.  This wisdom thread is invisible at times, but it is always present, holding the components of my tapestry together.

So...as I work to apply the revelations of the weekend I am adding to and modifying my tapestry.  I am cutting hindering fabric away...adding stitches of truth...embellishing with enlightenment....and stitching it together with wisdom.

As I stand back I realize...it truly is beautiful!!

Life Learning Curves

I helped my youngest daughter look for apartments this week.  It was difficult.  It is always a challenge to watch your child struggle with the decisions of life, but this seemed more difficult than usual.  She graduated with her bachelors degree a week ago with the enticing title of a new job.  There was excitement...there was laughter...there was fun with family and friends.  Then reality hit.  Her life would never be the same.  She is at the start of a life learning curve.

The world she has known for the past five years is fading.  Change is ever present and she can not escape it.

After a morning of apartment hunting, we stopped for lunch at a favorite Mexican restaurant where the magnitude and impact of the decisions at hand fell upon my daughter like the weight of the world.  It is scary to change the complete make up of your life.  It takes courage to move away from what you have known...from where you are comfortable.  But that is how we grow and evolve.  It isn't realistic to think that we will move through life without doubt or questions or even regret.

The truth is that we navigate our life with a twinge of fear in our belly...with the questions of inexperience in our minds...and with faith.  But if we listen quietly to our inner voice, the fear will diminish as our experience and wisdom builds.  Not that the fear isn't present...but we learn that fear must not guide us in our life's decisions.  It is usually a hard lesson and most of us must learn it incrementally over time.  As George S. Patton once said, "Courage is fear holding on a minute longer." 

I am proud of my daughter and I hope she can continue to look for the positive aspects of this phase of her life.  For with change comes an incredible opportunity to create the life you desire.