Why the Isle of Skye? (Or...what in the world are you thinking?)

I started this blog several years ago, but I abandoned it for almost as long.  Recently, there has been interest in several of my current life ventures, in particular, my trip to the United Kingdom this October. So, I am reestablishing my blog with the purpose of journaling the current preparations for my trip. Of course, the content will change to the adventure of the trip itself when the time comes. 

Many friends and family members have questioned my decision to spend so much time in a country where I have no ancestral or personal connection. They have questioned the sanity of a single woman traveling alone. And they have pondered why I couldn't just stay in the United States. After all, there is plenty to do here! I have decided that a person either understands my wanderlust or they don't. I was 14 years old when I saw an article featuring the countryside of the UK. It was in Seventeen magazine. Follow that with the PBS series, All Creatures Great and Small, about an English country veterinarian, and I was smitten. Since then, I have been drawn to the art, history, culture and beauty of a land I have never seen. And as I stated, you either get that....or you don't. And either one is fine with me.

The decision to make this trip was made in 2007. I was reading a copy of Smithsonian magazine and the cover story was about Wainwright's Coast to Coast Walk in England. I was mesmerized by the thought of traveling across the countryside of England, staying at little inns along the way. I took the magazine home with me and placed a brightly colored sticky note on the front cover. Written on the note was the statement, "When I am 55!"  I had eight years to make it happen and everything is right on schedule. I turned 55 in April of this year. And while my itinerary does not include the actual course that Wainwright recommended, it is full of hiking and trekking.

As with many dreams, life got in the way and my focus was directed to some big life changes. Five years ago, I found myself living on my own and for the first time in a very long time, I began to revisit my personal dreams and desires. At the top of the list was my UK trip! I made a list of things I needed to do and started checking them off one by one. The first item on the list was getting my passport...check!

I started researching more intently in 2013, and discovered a charming stone cottage on the Isle of Skye. I printed off the information and tucked it away among my other travel books and maps. In early 2015, as I began booking lodging and making more concrete plans, that little stone cottage kept jarring my memory. But I couldn't remember it's name or location. I dug through my large stack of papers and maps and finally found it. When I looked at the photos of the tiny cottage, it felt like the perfect place. So...the first concrete part of my UK trip was soon booked...Fossil Cottage. I will be there for a week in October. It is incredibly charming and has local wildlife to keep me entertained! It has a great location for exploring the Isle of Skye and the mainland of Scotland. You can learn more about Fossil Cottage on their website.  http://fossil-cottage-skye.co.uk/

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Gratitude Gourds Art Show and Sale

Plans are being finalized for the first Gratitude Gourds Art Show and Sale.  The informative event is scheduled for Friday, March 30th, in the funky and eclectic HeBrews Coffeehouse and Deli in Perry, Oklahoma.  A collection of gourds will be on display along with the story behind each gourd's creation or the lesson learned through the creation of the gourd. 

I will be debuting a very special gourd at this show.  Several years ago I walked a labyrinth as part of a three-day silent retreat at a monastery.  During my second journey to the center of the labyrinth I received a series of answers to a personal prayer.  My "Lessons of the Labyrinth" gourd features the nine messages that God presented to me on that mild April day.  It is the first gourd bowl I have created for my own spiritual practice and I am very excited about sharing it with the public. 

The art show audience will have the opportunity to learn how Gratitude Gourds are made....both the physical process and the spiritual process.  A wide-variety of Gratitude Gourd will be available for purchase during the show, representing different artistic styles.  Also on display will be gourds that have been gifted to my family and friends.  I have borrowed these gourds from their owners to show the audience a more broad display of styles and creative options.

In addition to the display of art, show attendees can also try the complimentary cookies and scones baked by Tina Ahern.  They are wonderful!  Tina and Brian Ahern are the owners of HeBrews which has become a popular breakfast and lunch time destination for local Perry residents.  The walls of the deli are decorated with artwork created by the Ahern's children.  Specialty coffees and smoothies will be available for purchase during the show and complimentary iced tea and water will be provided.    

I look forward to sharing my artistic journey with everyone from 6:00 - 8:00 p.m. at HeBrew's on March 30th.   

This gourd features an overall vine and leaf design and will be available for sale
at the Gratitude Gourds Art Show and Sale.  The interior is dyed
dark brown and the opening is trimmed with brown leather, gold wire and
a variety of gold beads.

 gratitudegourds.com

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Cleaning Gourds....You Never Know What You Will Find

One of the most rewarding and most frustrating steps in creating gourd art is cleaning the dried gourd.  When the gourd dries, it becomes coated in a layer of mold.  This moldy layer varies with each gourd.  Sometimes it is thin and easily removed by soaking the gourd in water and scrubbing it with a plastic or copper pot scrubber.  But other times the layer of mold is very thick and is resistant to the cleaning process.  These gourds are not only soaked in water and scrubbed but are also scraped carefully with sharp wood-carving tools or an exacto knife to expose the smooth hard skin of the gourd. 

After the layers of mold are removed, a unique pattern is left on the shell of the gourd.  Some gourds have very little pattern while others are completely covered with dark shapes and lines.  I have learned from the cleaning process that I have to work with whatever I find under the mold.  I must use the natural pattern of the gourd to create my work of art.  So it is with life.  I must work with the natural pattern of what comes into my life and add my own creative touches to cultivate the life of my choosing.  Only in working with what I have been given will I be able to stay true to the natural beauty of the gourd or of my own life.   

 

A dried gourd covered with a heavy layer of mold.

After the gourd is soaked in water for about 30 minutes,
it is scrubbed with a plastic scrubber to remove the layers
of mold.  This process is helps to reveal the unique patterns
that naturally occur on the gourd.

Some gourds must be scraped with an exacto knife or wood-
carving tool to remove stubborn layers of mold or dried
membranes from the surface of the gourd. 

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http://gratitudegourds.com/

"Creativity is God's will for us and should be practiced like any other spiritual practice - a day at a time."  ~  Julia Cameron

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The week of Valentines Day seems to be the perfect time to ponder love and romance.  I have created several gourds as wedding gifts, but today I received the first request for an anniversary gourd.  I am excited about the possibilities for the gourd and anxiously waiting to receive the request form.  Until then, I thought I would share photos of a couple of the wedding gourds I have created. 

 

Featuring a quote from Anodea Judith, this gourd
was a gift to a dear friend.  Life circumstances kept
them waiting 20 years to marry.  The names of the bride
and groom as well as the date of the wedding are on the
underneath side of the gourd.





The back of this gourd features part of the scripture
from 1st Corinthians 13....the love chapter of the Bible.
I created this gourd for my niece and her husband to
celebrate their marriage and life together.  The front
features a large monogram, the date of the wedding, and
the names of the bride and groom.





This gourd was a special order to celebrate the marriage of
two young people.  Not only does it feature verses from 1st Corinthians 13,
but their names and descriptive words about the couple are hidden
within the vines and flower buds.



 http://gratitudegourds.com/

Grief...missing my Dad.

NOTE:  I wrote this post last night when I did not have access to the internet.  

  It is 11:30 p.m. on August 16^th and I am having my annual visit with my grief.  My visit started late this afternoon as I took my mother to Stillwater.  We spent the evening wandering around Lowe’s looking for the perfect paint color and carpet for her family room addition.  This was a coping trip.  We were supporting each other…holding each other up…just as we did seven years ago…the night my dad died. 

Some years the anniversary of his death comes around and I realize after the fact that the day has come and gone.  Then I have a year like this one.  The grief does not roll me into a ball on the bathroom floor like the first year….but it is ever present.  I am aware of his legacy in my life.  My “Daddy” memories flow swiftly and with great abundance.  I am caught off guard by the quantity that surface. 

Why this year?  I don’t really ask the question.  I have given up questioning how grief works….when it will appear…..how long it will stay..…how I will react. 

It seems to be softer now…...my grief.  Still deep.  Still honest.  Still authentic.  But much softer..…at least around the edges.  I recognize it now and it does not surprise me when I feel it approaching.  Tonight I greet my grief and welcome it to come inside and sit with me…..and it does.  I think back to the night my dad died.  I process my regrets and forgive myself again for not being more assertive in the ER…for not asking more questions…for being nice.  My grief did not bring tears tonight.  Maybe that is what feels softer.  Instead my grief brought memories of my fathers love.  Memories of that ornery twinkle in his eye…..of the way his shoulders moved up and down when he laughed….of how he shifted his weight from side to side when he walked. 

My family has experienced many things since my dad died.  High school and college graduations.....marriages.....births.....life has continued.  It is as he would want it.  He would want us to continue on…..to live.  And so we shall.

It is almost midnight.  My mind correlates the clock to the events of that night….”and then this happened…and then they arrived….and then we were told there was no hope….and then I held his hand as he drifted from us.”

I am content in my grief.

Perfection kills....

Perfection kills!  It kills dreams...it kills relationships...it kills our self esteem.  I should know.  I have struggled with a standard of perfection for many years.  Some people close to me would question that statement because I have failed to reach perfection on every level.  More accurately, the quest for perfection has created a perpetual cycle of failure. 

In an attempt to guarantee perfect actions and therefore perfect results, many of my plans have never gotten out of the planning stage.  The search for perfect plans...perfect actions...and perfect results has caused me to procrastinate in everything from doing my taxes to making a quilt to applying for a new job or trying a new recipe.  I have waited for uninterrupted hours...stress free days...and everyone to be "on board".  But those conditions have never happened....nor will they.  And in the past my failure to attain perfection has perpetuated that sense of failure and hindered the attempt to try again.

In recent years I have worked diligently at letting go of the attempt for perfection.  My focus has shifted toward a new healthier standard.  A standard that reflects what is important to me...not society or the accepted norm.  I no longer feel that my acceptance as a person hinges on what kind of present I give someone...or how elaborate I decorate the birthday cake...or how many blue ribbons I receive at the county fair.  I am good enough.  Yes...I am good enough even when I buy a gift that stays within my budget...or when I opt to let someone else bake the cake...or when I choose not to scurry and hurry to enter exhibits in the fair.

For my sense of approval does not lie outside myself but within myself.  By releasing the pursuit of perfection, I have found an inner acceptance of myself.  And ironically....finding that is almost perfection!

The Power of Relaxation - 2

My vacation is in day three and I have become quite accomplished at being schedule free and having accountability to only myself.  However, I noticed something this morning as I sat facing a huge waterfall eating a late breakfast.  Taking a bite of incredibly fluffy pancakes I felt a slight twinge of something.  Was it sadness?  Was it lonliness?  I allowed the feeling to evolve...to present itself...and soon realized that what I was feeling was the completeness that daily tasks bring to my life.  I love the relaxed schedule I am currently keeping and I have realized how desperately I need to make time for doing nothing.  But I have also realized that when I have time to relax and rejuvenate, I begin to miss those mundane daily tasks that often drive me crazy. 

As I ate my pancakes, I felt a yearning to be in my kitchen mixing the ingredients myself.  I longed to measure the flour...scraping the measuring cup smooth with a knife.  I longed to crack open the egg...challenging myself to do it with one hand...without any shell in the bowl.  I had a desire to pour myself a small glass of milk after measuring out the needed amount for the recipe.  I wanted to see the texture of the batter form in my bowl as I whisked the ingredients together to a smooth, bubbly consistency.  I wanted to search the kitchen for other interesting ingredients to add to the batter...ground flaxseed....walnuts...bananas.  I missed being involved in the process of creating the final product....not just see it on my plate.  

I think this is evidence of another benefit of relaxation.  When we have the opportunity to become quiet, relax fully, and rejuvenate, we find that lost appreciation for our daily lives and the sacredness of the hours that create our days.  It also makes me realize that I do not want to idly sit by and accept my life as it comes to me.  I truly want to be the creator of my life....to mix my life's recipe as I choose...to suit my individual tastes and preferences. 

So...tomorrow  I fly back to my everday life...and I do so with a promise to myself to balance my relaxation and down time with a respect for the tasks of my days.  I have also renewed my vow to honor those daily tasks and truly be present in my life...minute by minute.